December is a very busy time of year for me. My work becomes all consuming from Thanksgiving to New Years and I jump in with both feet and hope to come up for air in January.
During this time of year it's easy to lose a sense of self during this busy time. At one point I was talking with an acquaintance who asked me about what was happening with work and the season. He then asked me if I had any backpacking trips planned for the coming year. To the last question I responded in the negative. I hadn't planned anything. Our conversation ended with his question, "Well, what do you have to look forward to?"
I answered him internally an my answer was shocking. I was looking forward only to the end of the day. During this past month and a half the only thing I was looking forward to was the opportunity to sit and be unconcerned about anything for 15-20 minutes before losing myself to a few brief hours of sleep.
I also found the thought of looking forward to a few days of away from the day-to-day responsibilities of life over the course of the year to be equally sad. If the only thing I was looking forward to was a vacation from regular life meant that I was spending the majority of my my life thinking about being somewhere else.
I don't think it good to survive to the end of the day and I find it an equally poor to look forward to that time you can escape your reality. Since making this realization in mid-December I've been trying to live for tomorrow.
One of the reasons I love backpacking so much is because each day is something wonderful. I wake up in the morning and start walking and each turn and corner brings something new an exciting. Something I've never seen before and many times something I've never experienced. Every day is like that. Every morning when I wake up, something will happen that has never happened before. The only reason I have to get stuck in a rut is because I fail to realize that the day is new so that the outcome of that day is not predetermined.
I can engage in the same work everyday. I can have similar interactions with people everyday. I can make changes everyday that will lead to different results. If I am unhappy today I can learn what it is that made me unhappy and I can choose to do something that will change that outcome tomorrow.